The following is an open letter to the community of Mount Gambier, written by the mother of one of the boys charged with the slashing the tyres of dozens of cars across Mount Gambier over the weekend. She wishes to remain anonymous.
The three boys, aged 14, 16 and 17 are all expected to face more than 60 charges of property damage.
The three boys, aged 14, 16 and 17 are all expected to face more than 60 charges of property damage.
It’s hard for me to write this, but it must be said.
To those people attacking the parents and wondering where they are, please know this. As parents, we tried to raise our children the right way, but we all know that sometimes they have other ideas.
We can only teach our children the right way of life. My son became so bad with mental health issues, and I had been fighting my own mental health problems at the same time. My only option to help myself and my son was to place him with the Department of Child Protection so that he could receive the healthcare and help that he needed, that I knew I couldn’t provide to him.
My son was raised in a healthy home. He had everything he needed, and sometimes when he was well-behaved, he’d be rewarded with what he wanted. He was raised with respect; he was raised with morals.
I did everything I could as a single mother raising him on my own. It wasn’t easy raising a child with both ADHD and Autism, while I fought my own mental health issues.
My son also had a lot of trauma after living in Aboriginal communities with his father in the Northern Territory. That’s where his life went downhill.
We tried everything possible before making the decision to place him with the Department of Child Protection, that wasn’t an easy decision at all. These kids have been lost since placing them with DCP, but it’s a decision I can’t take back as the damage is done.
I’m not at all blaming these things for his behaviour and silly choices. At the end of the day, he made this choice and he needs to live with the consequences. His upbringing, mental health issues – none of these things are an excuse.
All I ask is that you don’t blame the parents. It’s not always our fault.
I am so heartbroken seeing everyone’s comments on social media about how the actions of my son and his friends have affected them, and I wish I could help in some way. It’s just heartbreaking to see how many lives have been torn apart due to their stupidity. I feel sick to my stomach knowing that a lot of these people aren’t in positions to fix their cars, and I certainly wish I had the money to help people get their cars back on the road. I am so sorry for the grief and anger my son has caused in Mount Gambier. I have tried to talk with him, and his excuse is “I did it because I was drunk.” That’s no excuse.
I can not apologise enough and express my own anger over this. The inconvenience this has caused so many people is just phenomenal.
As my son is not in my care anymore, I feel helpless. What can I do, aside from giving up? But I can’t do that. He’s my son, and I brought him into this world hoping for a better life for us both. Sadly, it hasn’t worked out like that for him. He seems to think of Juvenile Detention as a “holiday” where he can “hang out with his mates.”
I wish there was a way I could fix this mess he has caused.
The only thing I ask is this. When things like this happen, please don’t go straight into blaming the parents when you may not know their back-story. They could have the best parents in the world, doing their best to teach them right from wrong, but once they move out of home – things change. They fall into the wrong crowds (other kids in care) and everything snowballs from there.
This is so true its the children's decision to do what he did not the parents or CPP at least you tried to raise his the best way you could.
ReplyDeleteI can certainly understand the pain of when you do love someone and you see them unable or unwilling to make a choice to benefit rather than hurt.
ReplyDeleteBeing a parent isn't easy and there certainly aren't any manuals that give the easy answer.
As a parent all we can do is try our best to teach them right from wrong, attempt to install a good set of morals in them and let them grow and hope they find there feet, we can't scurry behind waiting for them to fall so we can be there to pick them up.
If the mother is reading this I would like to say that I think your one of the braver parents out there. You haven't failed and in my opinion it's quite the opposite you where brave enough to say that you simply couldn't give the help and support your son so desperately needed and you made a incredibly hard decision in an attempt to see your son into a brighter future.
As to blaming parents while yes this can be the easy and convenient option when something like this happens I also no that our legal system is nothing but a joke, offenders put on a dog a pony show and have small cry and are given sentences or punishments that give a new name to leniency.
There is also the fact of our state's medical services in the country is so lacking. I no from personal experience trying to get help outside of the city is nothing short of a nightmare.
This certainly is no excuse for what has happend, or for the impact it has had on so many in our town, we were one of a number of unlucky people who had their car affected in acts of stupidity but there is a larger picture here and I sincerely hope that we can find a way to fix it before it's to late.